Latest technology of 2009 81

I'm a self-proclaimed technical wizard and these are the latest and greatest things to be hitting store shelves this year.

Betamax cassettes and video recording doohickies. These magic tapes will play movie pictures on your television and are sure to be around for a long time.

Some thing called the Internet, there hasn't been much info out on this one but it's probably some sort of government spy tool.

                                                                                                                                                  Teddy Ruxpin bus driver model.

The Russians are devising a space project called "Sputnik" which is apparently going to be used to "beam up Scotty." Sputnik will also be making available worldwide, the Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest on televisions everywhere.

A company named Polaroid is developing instant photos. After you take a picture, you fan one of these super cheap to refill pictures around for about 17 minutes and you get an instant picture of your sweetie peetie that can be affixed to the dash of your car in place of useless things such as tachometers and fuel gauges.

The shiny thing that will bring the Hawaiian

Tropic girls to your living room.

Speaking of your car, have you ever wanted to be able to take your music with you on the go? Well soon you'll be able to with the help of an 8 Track cassette. These cassettes will boast superb sound quality and you can even find a nifty briefcase like box to put them in, great for keeping under the seat of your car.

In the field of robotics, Playskool has come out with an animatronic talking bear code named "Teddy Ruxpin." This bear is expected to make waves and eventually will be a part of major cities across the country, taking on jobs such as bus driver and postal employee.

For the office employees out there who fiddle with numbers all day long and have extinguished their supply of scrap paper, an instrument company in Texas has come out with a "Pocket adding/subtracting/multiplying/dividing machine" that will simplify people's lives and increase SAT scores everywhere.

A laser disc album and a prototype for laser disc

model 2.0 that is set for release in 2049.

For the more fortunate living amongst us who won't settle for the video quality that the Betamax cassettes will bring us, a company is developing what is only known as a LaserDisc. These compact, travel sized laser albums boast superb video quality and a really cool shiny red thing that is sure to entertain even the upper class.

Households everywhere will be entertained by a new electronic board game called "Pong." The game has stunning graphics and will plug into televisions providing minutes of fun for the entire family. Another game is in the works dubbed "Space Invaders" which is based on true events from a town in New Mexico that is full of crazy people.

Well folks, I'm sure looking forward to the advances that we'll see in 2009, hopefully I've brought you some knowledge that can be shared and we'll all see these battery powered miracles take flight together. For now, this has been Techno Files.